Losing my Mojo!

Wait Vanessa, I can explain. You see, I was looking for Dr. Evil when the Fembots came out and smoke started coming out of their jomblies. So I started to work my mojo, to counter their mojo; we got cross-mojulation, and their heads started exploding. 

 Well, that's not really how it happened...I wish it had happened like that...waaaaaa!!!


Ok, first, apologies for being MIA for more than 2 weeks! Yes, I am a bad bombastica...
But, I can explain...really I can!


So, this is how it all started...


I sent out an email to 4 girls. Dont know these girls too well, but they seem like friendly chicks...a bit 'poshiesh' for me, but what the heck, who am I to judge?! We had been planning an outing for several weeks and FINALLY we arranged for us to go out to some hip and happening place in Dubai. Wohhoooo!!!


Got dressed, looking as bombasticay as I can (for the time being it's good enough). Anyway, I didnt want to be late to the 'dinner and drinks', so I arrived there on time. And I waited...and I waited...and then I sms'ed...and waited...


Cut a boring story short, I got ditched by FOUR girls. I wish I had been ditched by FOUR Fembots...then I would have understood the mess up. But REALLY?! Four girls stood me up, like what the fuck! So uncool, totally uncool.


I suddenly (and sadly realized) that I have lost my mojo. 
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!


My weekend didn't end there. I decided to do some kick boxing that weekend. I used to love training at kick boxing (back in my 20's - my early 20's - ok, when I was 21). 
I put on my gloves, I got into position, then I started. 1, 2, upper jab. 1, 2, upper jab. 1, 2, upper jab, kick. 1, 2, faint. 3, 4, help me Charlie (my personal trainer), 5, 6, I am dying, need to breathe, need help. Need breathhhhhh....Need resuscitation...Helpppp meeeee!


It was the longest 1 hour of my life. A slap in the face. A slap to my mojo. I am no longer 20. I look 20. I sometimes act 20. But I have the body and physical fitness of a 40 year old. 
I am losing my groove (do people even still use that word?)! 


Hmmm. Lessons learned:

• Dont go out with girls who are not Fembots
• Who cares if I'm stood up by girls...especially if they are poshy! And to quote Austin: Well, no offense, but if that is a woman it looks like she was beaten with an ugly stick!  
• Dont kick box if you are over thirty and everything will be tip top! 

The Gyno Nazi

Had quite an interesting and jaw dropping experience last thursday. I had a gyno doc appointment. The doc was German. She reminded me of my school principal...but with a bushier hair-do...
This is a few snippets of our conversation...

Gyno Nazi: Vaat is wrong wiz u?
Me: ummmm, nothing really, just a regular yearly check up
Gyno Nazi: Well, zere haz to be somezing wrong wiz u...or elze ze insurunce wont pay!
Me: ummm, alright, well I do have severe pms symptoms...night sweats, stomach aches, major water retention, etc.
Gyno Nazi: You are uverweight!
Me: yes, yes I am...I have gained weight in Dubai...
Gyno Nazi: Khow much you gain?
Me: Around 20 kilos...
Gyno Nazi: And you are cumplaining about ze pmz zymptoms! Luuk at your receding herline and your zeets! Ven vus zee last time you had a buyfriend?
Me: Around a year ago...
Gyno Nazi: Vell ofcurse you have zee weird pmz! You have gained all zis weight! You have to lose ze weight and get back to your nurmal zize. And you swut all niiite...how veel you ever have a buyfriend? You veel swut all over heeem...he vill run away frum you!
Me: Ummm, yes, I guess, well I should go jump out of the window now...

Way of the Spiritual Warrior

Hectic hectic weekend! Million apologies for my disappearance!
Sooooo, i promised to look into this Budokon fad...and I have! 
This is the official site: http://www.budokon.com/

Anyway,  Budokon translates literaly as the Way of the Spiritual Warrior. So Budokon combines styles from several disciplines: Karate, Jiu-Jitsu, Yoga,  and Tae Kwon Do.

My research sort of stops there! LOL! Basically, there is the life story of the founder Cameron Shayne. But in all honesty, I was lookign for more about the moves, techniques, and basic principles...

Ah well, c'est la vie. Once I try out Budokon, I will then share with you my feedback ;)

  

Budokon...vat ze hell?!

New celebrity fad going on...called Budokon...it merges yoga with several martial art techniques and the founder has also 'invented' original moves...

I need to investigate further, but check this out for a preliminary feel:
http://www.nwhealth.edu/healthyU/getMoving/budokon.html

Mind over matter

Don’t you sometimes feel miserable when you feel like you’re forced to do something against your own will? And more often than not you fail at doing that thing if you’re NOT FEELING it…


I’m a big believer in mind over matter. But I just know deep down in my guts that when my mind don’t wanna rise above the matter. When my mind just wants to relax…and not feel pressured…


Well anyway, that’s how my mind feels now. it doesn’t wanna be pressured. So my matter (my nice blubber of fatty matter) is telling me: you need to be slim and trim!


But my mind is saying: I can’t handle the pressure! I can’t do this anymore!


AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!


What do I do? My internal organs are having a civil war! They are collaborating against me!


I am going to compromise. Compromise is a reality of life. We gotta do it at work, at home, and in love. so now I am doing it with the civil insurgents.


Ok, I won’t be on a strict diet of no eating. But I won’t be on a see food diet either.


I am going to make a mind over matter promise that I will go to the gym minimum 4 times a week. so, this week I have been to the gym twice – I have underperformed and not lived up to my compromise contract.


Thus next week and on, it will be 4 times gym! and it will be moderate food consumption versus strict no food intake!


ahhhhhhh [sigh of relief - not panic!]

Now, things are back into their natural order and the war has ceased, for now…

Skinny fat?!

There is a god! You gotta watch this! Fab!


http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/35181451#35181451

The Big O in Om

...part of his scholarly exercises while leading the life of a religious student at Benares, and wholly engaged in the  contemplation of the deity. A person acquainted with the true principles of this science, who preserves his Dharma (virtue or religious merirt), his Artha (wordly wealth) and his Kama (pleasure or sensual gratification), and who has regard to the customs of the people, is sure to obtain the mastery over his senses....person attending to Dharma, Artha, and Kama will obtain success in everything that he may do.

Can you guess where the above quote is from and what it is about? 

Saturday I had my second yoga session! Got down on my own mat, sweated all over it, and it felt great! Teacher even helped me do a head stand...wooohooo!


Other, than the standard benefits of yoga/exercise (bla bla bla bla) we normally hear about (like fitness, relaxation, stress relief, etc.), me and my roomie had an 'a-h-a' moment during our routine...we were going to be the Bendy Babes! 


The eureka moment went like this:
yoga = making weird poses = flexibility = prepping for Kama Sutra  poses (now you can guess where the above quote is from)


and thus we had discovered our ultimate motivation!


I mean, c'mon, waking up so early, sweating like a pig, concentrating to ensure proper posture, breathing, and twisting and turning into a salty pretzel...well, we gotta have a carrot stick (excuse the phallic imagery) to motivate us on!


Link between yoga and better sex:
http://yoga.iloveindia.com/yoga-benefits/yoga-and-sex.html


Lesson learned:
Exercise has many benefits ;)


Here i placed a visual inspiration for working towards being a Bendy Babe